Teenagers Scare Me
Last week, I did the unthinkable: I visited Square One, Canada’s most trafficked mall – on a Friday night.
Now normally I wouldn’t undertake such a perilous mission, but I had a Fisher-Price photo shoot on Saturday (I’m one of their newest bloggers! More about that later) and the instructions were to bring a variety of outfits that reflected “me”. So, of course I went out to buy several outfits that reflected a much more fabulous version of me (I didn’t think they’d be impressed with yoga pants and graphic tees).
Well, it goes without saying that the mall was PACKED. We circled around the parking lot at least three times before we found a suitable parking spot for those travelling with two babes and a double stroller. As we walked to the entrance, I sighed in frustration – crowded along the doors were about 6 teens, all shouting unintelligible phrases save for the word ” F–K” which I counted at least 10 times in 20 seconds.
Teenagers scare me.
Now I’m not exactly sure when I turned from a 30-something into a finger-waving, disapproving-frown-wearing crotchety old woman, but I think it happened around the same time I traded “being seen” at the mall for “shopping” there instead.
Anyhoo, I made the following observations of teenage-ism while popping in and out of stores:
1. As mentioned before, the overuse (and misuse) of the word “F—K”. Here is a snippet of one of the conversations I overheard:
“F, man, it’s F’in hot in here (prononced “herr”, of course) and I F’in ain’t F’in waiting no more cause I’m F’in gonna be a F’in puddle before she F’in gets here (again, pronounced “herr”). F’it, let’s F’in go.”
I’m sure Ryder’s eyes lit up in delight with the free exchange of profanities sans repercussions, but I was absolutely mortified (and made a show of covering Ryder’s ears as we walked by). Note to the chick who was stood up: it’s a good thing he left, honey. He ain’t no catch, trust me.
2. One out of every three brown teenagers was rockin’ the Sanjaya ‘do – I mean, come on, the last thing I want to encounter when I go shopping is a legion of Sanjaya wannabes. It’s not that there’s anything wrong with Sanjaya – or the look – but it was just so tiresome to see the same hairstyle on different heads, and I’m quite certain none of the doppelgängers downloaded his single from iTunes.
(On a related note, other boys were enthusiastically channeling Justin Bieber, Drake and selected indie artists with varying degrees of success.)
3. Now if there’s one universal truth, its that there are two types of teenage girls: ones who dress trashy, and ones who want to dress trashy. To the latter group – parents, I commend you for holding your ground. But the sad reality is that over 80% of the teens I encountered were decked out in outfits designed to promote the optimal amount of T&A. At one point, my husband declared: “I hate shopping because I spend the whole time averting my eyes so I don’t feel like a pedophile. Its just so wrong.” I know how he feels – even I copped a look at a few tight Lululemon bottoms. Ugh.
4. Teenagers are rude. At least, the ones I encountered were. They shout at each other from across the mall, loiter around while blocking entrances and exits, intimidate elderly customers by using profanity and aggressive gestures, set a poor example for younger children by making out in stairwells and on benches, and use up valuable space at the Apple Store. Oh yeah, speaking of -
5. How many Apples can you buy with your allowance? Seriously, the Apple Store is constantly crammed with teenagers. When I was young, it took me months to save up for a pair of Aldo shoes… never mind an iPad! It boggles my mind that teens have this sort of spending power – but hey, that’s for their parents to worry about. I just wanna be able to check out a MacBook without being bumped aside by Justin Bieber and Sanjaya.
6. Tattoos. I kid you not – as a teen, I didn’t know anyone with a tattoo. I think it was a coming of age thing when we turned around 20 – some gals got pierced, and then inked. Today, its more and more common to get a tattoo for your 16th birthday (complete with forged permission slip, of course) and the tattoos are becoming progressively risqué in both location and design. Sigh. The picture on the left made e-mail rounds last year – an 8 year old with a Tramp Stamp. I’m pretty sure its a fake tattoo, but the message is still the same: Look At Me. For what its worth, my personal opinion is that tattoos are an outward plea from the insecure.
I could go on and on, but that would only be a disservice to the respectable, intelligent and highly talented teens who choose not to moonlight as mall rats. And I know they exist – sadly, their numbers are few. But the more I think about it, the more I hope my boys stay young forever. Because frankly, teenagers scare me.
Any tips for keeping teens in check? I’d love to hear from moms who are in the thick of it – I like to be well prepared :)
Ha ha…sorry you were bombarded by Sanjaya and Bieber! When I was a young teenager, it was such a thrill to get dropped off at the mall. But all that entailed was browsing the stores while feasting on a shared box of popcorn and Coke. Fortunately, our malls here aren't that bad. But we visited one on vacation that we had to leave because it was over-run with teen delinquents. I don't think I'll ever turn my kids loose like that at the mall. I'm too worried they'll come out with a tat. (ha ha)
Ha ha…sorry you were bombarded by Sanjaya and Bieber! When I was a young teenager, it was such a thrill to get dropped off at the mall. But all that entailed was browsing the stores while feasting on a shared box of popcorn and Coke. Fortunately, our malls here aren't that bad. But we visited one on vacation that we had to leave because it was over-run with teen delinquents. I don't think I'll ever turn my kids loose like that at the mall. I'm too worried they'll come out with a tat. (ha ha)
So scary huh…and what about all the pre-teens wandering around with Victoria Secret shopping bags? It's crazy how that store has become *THE* place to buy from – their marketing has gotten everybody brainwashed into wanting to be "angels"…which is fine for adults, but icky for anyone younger than college age!And I was just telling my friends the other day that teenage boys are so gross when their parents aren't around…the things they say to try impress each other. There were 3 show-offs in my building's gym the other day – they were little pipsqueaks – and so desperate for attention…loudly talking about the state of a certain part of their anatomy…all I could do was roll my eyes!
So scary huh…and what about all the pre-teens wandering around with Victoria Secret shopping bags? It's crazy how that store has become *THE* place to buy from – their marketing has gotten everybody brainwashed into wanting to be "angels"…which is fine for adults, but icky for anyone younger than college age!And I was just telling my friends the other day that teenage boys are so gross when their parents aren't around…the things they say to try impress each other. There were 3 show-offs in my building's gym the other day – they were little pipsqueaks – and so desperate for attention…loudly talking about the state of a certain part of their anatomy…all I could do was roll my eyes!
Hilarious post – and I can totally relate! I'm absolutely terrified of raising two teenage boys. I think I'd be more afraid of raising girls, though (looking at the 'role models' today like Rihanna & Kesha…yuck!)I hope that I can rememeber my teenage years when dealing with their issues, but I'm sure I'll be like every other parent and forget that I ever hung out at a donut shop, smoked an unmentionable (along with cigarettes) or locked myself in my room for days while mourning the end of a 3-day 'relationship'.Our boys will be in their teens at the same time so we'll have to lean on each other to survive!! LOL
Hilarious post – and I can totally relate! I'm absolutely terrified of raising two teenage boys. I think I'd be more afraid of raising girls, though (looking at the 'role models' today like Rihanna & Kesha…yuck!)I hope that I can rememeber my teenage years when dealing with their issues, but I'm sure I'll be like every other parent and forget that I ever hung out at a donut shop, smoked an unmentionable (along with cigarettes) or locked myself in my room for days while mourning the end of a 3-day 'relationship'.Our boys will be in their teens at the same time so we'll have to lean on each other to survive!! LOL
Um "brown" teenager…..you could have left that part out….wow
Um "brown" teenager…..you could have left that part out….wow
@she – LOL, popcorn and Coke – I remember that too! Ah, the good old days.@Ella Pretty Blog – I TOTALLY wanted to touch on this, but feared I really would sound like an old lady if I kept going on and on. I can't believe the sheer amount of tweens flooding VS.@Shauna – ah, donut shops. The beloved Goetz hangout. Nope, never set foot in there ;)We will definitely have to lean on each other!@Anonymous – Sorry if I offended you. But I don't consider describing the colour of one's skin an insult (FYI – the "white" teen boys were channeling Bieber and the "black" teens were emulating Drake). But I also would never say "Indian" boys, because frankly, they're most likely Canadian-born and I have no idea if they're of West Indian, Indian, Bangladeshi or Pakistani descent, just to name a few.And for the record, my skin is brown, and I would have no problem if anyone described it that way :)
@she – LOL, popcorn and Coke – I remember that too! Ah, the good old days.@Ella Pretty Blog – I TOTALLY wanted to touch on this, but feared I really would sound like an old lady if I kept going on and on. I can't believe the sheer amount of tweens flooding VS.@Shauna – ah, donut shops. The beloved Goetz hangout. Nope, never set foot in there ;)We will definitely have to lean on each other!@Anonymous – Sorry if I offended you. But I don't consider describing the colour of one's skin an insult (FYI – the "white" teen boys were channeling Bieber and the "black" teens were emulating Drake). But I also would never say "Indian" boys, because frankly, they're most likely Canadian-born and I have no idea if they're of West Indian, Indian, Bangladeshi or Pakistani descent, just to name a few.And for the record, my skin is brown, and I would have no problem if anyone described it that way :)
I am a youth advisor for a fantastic group of wonderful teens. I'm sure they go to the mall, and I'm sure they are rude and noisy and make problems for others, and I'm pretty sure they use profanity, too. But underneath their burning, desperate desire to be "cool", accepted, and liked, there are some really nice kids. Being a teenager stinks, and when the parents aren't setting any boundaries, then, in my opinion, that's when there are problems such as the F laced unintelligible speech you heard, and the tattoos and trashy dressing. I know the kids I work with do the same annoying, obnoxious, teenagery things, but (at least I hope) they aren't doing it to such a frightening degree. So yes, there are some good teens out there, and honestly, probably more than it seems like. The quiet, respectful, mature ones tend to not get noticed quite so much.
I am a youth advisor for a fantastic group of wonderful teens. I'm sure they go to the mall, and I'm sure they are rude and noisy and make problems for others, and I'm pretty sure they use profanity, too. But underneath their burning, desperate desire to be "cool", accepted, and liked, there are some really nice kids. Being a teenager stinks, and when the parents aren't setting any boundaries, then, in my opinion, that's when there are problems such as the F laced unintelligible speech you heard, and the tattoos and trashy dressing. I know the kids I work with do the same annoying, obnoxious, teenagery things, but (at least I hope) they aren't doing it to such a frightening degree. So yes, there are some good teens out there, and honestly, probably more than it seems like. The quiet, respectful, mature ones tend to not get noticed quite so much.
@dannyscotland – you nailed it – it's all about boundaries. Being a teenager does suck; it's so sad that putting up a "cool" front seems the only way to survive now.
@dannyscotland – you nailed it – it's all about boundaries. Being a teenager does suck; it's so sad that putting up a "cool" front seems the only way to survive now.
You know it's difficult to find your way and the teen years are the most challenging. The scary part is when they travel in packs. The security/police presence at malls has sadly become the norm. So take in stride and avoid the peak teen times. Cheers.
You know it's difficult to find your way and the teen years are the most challenging. The scary part is when they travel in packs. The security/police presence at malls has sadly become the norm. So take in stride and avoid the peak teen times. Cheers.
congratulations as you survived square one on a friday night. i used to be at square one a lot because of the bus station. and friday afternoons were the times i used to dislike a lot. friday-weekend, never go to square one. lol.
congratulations as you survived square one on a friday night. i used to be at square one a lot because of the bus station. and friday afternoons were the times i used to dislike a lot. friday-weekend, never go to square one. lol.
I am absolutely terrified for youth today, and as you so eliquently put it, I don't know when I became a 'crotchety old women' either…at the ripe age of 33! haha!All kidding aside, I have a 4 1/2 year old daughter, the apple of my eye…and I can ONLY pray she stays that way!!! I'm terrified for her, and what she will be exposed to as a tween and teen! I was raised to respect other people (that includes the elderly), not intimidate, annoy and appall them. We can only teach our children, the next tween and teen generation, by our example. That, and by instilling the fear of Gdd in them if they do something that will embarass themselves or their parents – like my parents did! and that worked like a charm! :-D
I am absolutely terrified for youth today, and as you so eliquently put it, I don't know when I became a 'crotchety old women' either…at the ripe age of 33! haha!All kidding aside, I have a 4 1/2 year old daughter, the apple of my eye…and I can ONLY pray she stays that way!!! I'm terrified for her, and what she will be exposed to as a tween and teen! I was raised to respect other people (that includes the elderly), not intimidate, annoy and appall them. We can only teach our children, the next tween and teen generation, by our example. That, and by instilling the fear of Gdd in them if they do something that will embarass themselves or their parents – like my parents did! and that worked like a charm! :-D