Today I have a pretty awesome guest blogger – my oldest son Ryder! Yes, he’s only two years old (almost three!) but he’s incredibly articulate and when he asked to blog on my site this morning, I couldn’t say no! Here he is…
Ryder here, Lena’s boy. You know, the one you “oooh” and “aaah” over whenever she posts pictures (which by the way, I haven’t exactly provided my express written consent for, so let me know if she posts any potty shots).
I asked my Mommy if I could be a guest blogger because there have been so many recent changes in my life, and I just wanted to share them all with you! Now have you heard that there’s a new addition to the family? It’s true – his name is Reid, and he’s been hanging around for about 8 months. And to tell the truth, I just don’t see what the whole fascination with “the baby” is all about. He’s a complete tool.
Maybe I should back up. Before Reid (or the period known as “BR”, as I like to call it) things were great. It was just me and Mommy and Daddy, and I liked it that way. I could snuggle in their bed until I fell asleep, jump off park benches with my Mommy and play tee-ball with my Daddy. I pretty much ran the show, if you know what I mean.
Then Mommy got fat. And when I say fat, I mean HUGE. But she seemed pretty happy about, so I’m not judging – plus, friends and family would rest their hands on her belly and say “the baby” in such soothing tones that it seemed like it was a good thing. She even talked with me about said baby; she told me that I would soon have a little “brother”, and that we would grow up together and play together and be best friends. She also told me that it was because of this baby that she could no longer lift me up and roll on the ground. Huh. Not here, and he already killed my buzz.
But I looked forward to meeting this brother of mine. I reasoned that he could sleep in half my crib and we could play with Hot Wheels together. We could even sit side by side in the grocery cart! Things were starting to look up. And then, without warning, Daddy took me out out of my crib and said I had to sleep in the BIG BOY BED. That cribs were for babies, and I was a big boy. Pfft. Baloney. The crib was being handed off to one baby in particular… even I figured out that all on my own. Strike two for the little guy.
Weeks later, Mommy went to the hospital and I got to stay with Grandma. It was so much fun! But I missed Mommy, and when I asked Grandma when I would see her, she told me that Mommy was “having the baby.” What the heck does that mean? (I later found out they cut her tummy open. One word: EWW.)
So we went to see Mommy and Daddy and the baby. Boy, did I ever feel ripped off.
First of all, this “brother” was nothing like I pictured. He was a tiny dolly! Dolls are for girls, dude. What use do I have for a doll that cries and screams and wets itself? Pass. They told me his name was Reid, and everyone laughed at me when I repeated his name, “Weed”. Wait, that doesn’t sound right.
(Now my suspicions have yet to be confirmed, but I also think he’s wearing my clothes. Like ALL OF THEM. I totally remember that teddy bear t-shirt and really, how many sleepers featuring tennis-playing crabs can there be? The clothes don’t fit me anymore but they’re still mine, mine, mine! My Mommy has a whole closet full of clothes that don’t fit her anymore but she still hangs on to them for some deluded reason – so what gives?)
I also recently saw him bouncing away in my Fisher-Price Rainforest Jumparoo. Now from what I recall, Daddy also said I had “outgrown” it – but this isn’t another crib scenario, is it? I mean, I hope I didn’t give it up just so that Reid could have it… and I certainly don’t know of a BIG BOY version for me, seeing that Mommy has outlawed jumping on her bed (wouldn’t that be the natural transition?). I just can’t win.
And finally, the thing I totally can’t wrap my head around: my parents literally treat him like he’s the second coming. They coo at him non-stop; he’s constantly being carried around instead of walking for himself (I told you he was lazy) and Mommy spends almost all her time feeding him one way or another. And get this: last month he sat up by himself. BIG DEAL. You’d think he was juggling knives, so impressed were they by his skills. They clapped and took pictures and called up the family. “Reid sat up! Reid sat up!”
Well, I have a secret to share with you. I don’t really know how to say this, but sometimes I feel that Mommy doesn’t love me anymore. She’s constantly shouting at me, looks at me with tired, defeated eyes, and spends her free time blogging, cleaning up and making meals instead of playing with me. She puts toys in front of me and expects me to just be good and amuse myself. Its like I’ve become the house pet. (And not a lovable dog, either – more like a cat, who blends into the background.)
Daddy has been really good about playing with me and making me feel special, but it’s Mommy’s love and attention that I crave. I hate this feeling. I didn’t ask for a little brother. I didn’t ask for my family to change. And I want things to go back to the way they were…
She doesn’t see it that way, of course. She thinks I’m being naughty, and reprimands me for throwing my toys, tipping Reid over (which I actually find pretty hilarious), and for screaming and crying in fits of frustration. In fact, I find that I cry more now that I ever have! But clearly, she has no idea how it feels to suddenly be on the outside looking in. And I want back in her life. I miss Mommy.
So I’m hoping that you’ll keep my secret, but I also kinda wish that she’ll see this post and know that I really just want some alone time with her. Time to play together, laugh together, and be best friends again.
As for Reid? Well, I still think he’s a tool. But I’m starting to see that he may just be of use to me after all. He’s now doing things he couldn’t do only months ago, and I swear I saw him try to (gasp) crawl the other day. Perhaps once he’s mobile, he’ll be slightly less cumbersome to have around. But don’t worry, I still love him lots, and not just because Mommy tells me to be nice to him. I’m a BIG BROTHER and proud of it!
It’s been nice sharing with you. Hope you all have an awesome day, and maybe I’ll have a chance to be a guest blogger again! That would be sweet!
Thanks so much for being my guest blogger today, Ryder. You did a great job!
I am so sorry. I forgot what a huge transition this must be for you, and I know I let you down. But I promise that I will work out a balance, and starting today, you and I will once again have some special time - just the two of us. You are an amazing big brother to Reid and I love you so much.